Now that I’ve gotten the Sarah McLachlan song stuck in your head…
I was chatting with Juni the other day about the positives and negatives of sharing personal beliefs, UPG, and other such Project Protagonist topics. I still have some trepidation about what I’m doing. I don’t have a lot of readers, but I worry what you’ll think. Am I being trite? Do I sound crazy? Am I assuming too much or too little?
One of the fears we discussed was what happens once you put it out there. I’ve shared in small groups over the years, though, and I can’t imagine what’s left – people have taken things I said and done everything I can imagine finding hurtful with them short of starting a holy war.
(Well, there was that one time… Nevermind.)
Sharing in bits and pieces doesn’t work for me. I’m too tempted to couch my descriptions in the vocabulary of the person I’m talking to, instead of using my own descriptions. I’m hoping that by working through the whole shebang here, I’ll be able to tweak, strengthen, and make improvements in my beliefs and work.
There are things I’m not going to share here, because they’re too personal. Mostly what I mean by that is that they wouldn’t make sense to people who are not me. I think most people who believe in an immediate deity have had moments like that, moments which carry a majesty that you couldn’t explain without talking about visiting your grandmother when you were eight and the way the creek by your house smelled or something. Spiritual experience is not transitive.
I guess you could say I’m simultaneously building a philosophy and a mystery. The mystery is my own experience. The philosophy is what I can find the words to share.